I remember I went to a youth conference at the age of 18 called Acquire the Fire in Hamilton, ON. It was my third year going and I definitely was more open to going to this huge conference with so many youth. This was a non-denominational conference (not sure why I am writing this part). Anyway, I went and the point I woke up with today is that the Lord came to me like a rushing wind and pouring a passion unto me. In that time of my life so many things were happening.
• I was in a relationship with a guy.
• I was always arguing with my dad.
• My dad and I had such a bad relationship, it was sad and upset me.
• I rarely spoke to my sister much…
• I was independent from God because • I didn’t ask for his wisdom at all.
• I was living in the flesh a lot.
• I was bound to lust, seduction and manipulation.
• I wanted attention
• I was desperate for love ( I would get this from my boyfriends)
• I did whatever I wanted – without a clue if it was what God my Heavenly Father wanted.
• I had so much sadness , depression
• Wasn’t able to commit to jobs well, I didn’t take them seriously and I took it for grantid.
• I was miserable in my decisions a lot of the time cause it caused me to get hurt a lot.
• My dad and mom fought so much – there was no peace in our house
• I was rebellious
• I talked back to my dad with meanness
The Lord came to me with all this baggage. He came to me with a rushing wind and through a song I told him I wanted his help. I wanted him to teach me and guide me and be a student in his classroom. I cried as I was led by the Holy Spirit to open my mouth and sing “Father will you come, and open up our hearts. Fill us with your love, renew us with your life. Consume us with you majesty” (by Unhindered – Father Will You Come.)
He came to me in my mess, and even now I get into messes that God is working on now.
Now I know and better understand through a revelation Father God allowed me to see is the power of the cross and the power of the blood of Jesus. Throughout these years the Lord gave me layers and layers of this but I couldn’t get it all until now. Its rather divine and planned.
I love the sacrifice of Jesus 😍 its the most loveliest love stories I ever knew. The way he walked and talked and then died for us is beyond anything. Blah, its not a story – its TRUE! That’s what makes it even better, its reality.
He died for my sin, his cross was so heavy because our sins were so heavy (so many sins). And he bled and bled and bled – shedding his blood for us to cover us in it spirtually so that our chains of slavery to sin would be broken. So when we allow and accept the Salvation of Christ – we accept his protection. We accept his sacrifice. We accept to be covered under the mantle of his blood which as it spiritually flows over us it reaches every crevice of our soul, all the darkest spots, all the hardened heart or the broken heart and cleanses it for us. And that is his grace… In the meantime while we are covered the Holy Spirit does the work in us through our lives truly by grace and because we have a purpose.
( sometime people accept Christ and then die. For a reason to fulfill a purpose, and we live to co tinue fulfilling a purpose… And I pray we fulfill Gods purpose)
To finish, God is incredibly loving. He is incredibly amazing, he is incredibly merciful – especially cause he finds us on our mess and totally grabs us and takes us home. I honestly felt like a sheep that was in the dark and being grabbed back home in that moment and then began this journey… But for so long I was stubborn and didnt want to surrender but haha God knew the day I would. Haha