“Titles” in the church, or body of Christ // continued

Today as I was writing my last post, about Proverbs, I had written about how my attention was being taken off of God and instead focusing on getting the leaders to notice me. I came from a Wesleyan Methodist church, and I didn’t care much about titles – all I cared about was serving God with all that I am. When I moved churches, I became CONSUMED with being a leader in the church… not just a mentor but like an “elder” or someone that has earthly authority … you know? Why did I become consumed by that…. WHY? I asked myself the same question. Why did I become so focused on being like the leaders up there? 

Because that’s what I thought being a mighty man or woman of God meant. I was exposed to the world of Titles – a world I never knew exisisted.

I thought God wanted me to preach on the pulpit and I acted when God said something, so I went and did it boldly. So I didn’t doubt Him and I allowed God to use me and one day I went to pray for someone on the pulpit and I got told that “people are gunna think your stepping on them” and I was like crying because I was 1. upset that people think that way and 2. that were suppose to allow Holy Spirit to use us, but then I was stopped because of fear that I was stepping on others. Not sure how, but maybe “ministry” wise. Who knows, I surely wasn’t even thinking about that, all I was thinking about was this girls needs and I went to help and got in trouble for it.

So yes, I was rather upset and sad because it made NO SENSE to me. None at all. Many things happened, I just can’t explain it all now.

To continue, I came from a church that only had a Pastor and a Pastor’s Wife and Pastors Kids and Worship Leaders and I knew them as my brothers and sisters in Christ. We were actually pretty humble with one another. No one was better than anyone else, I mean some people had that problem but I didn’t, and I would get along with everyone (I just hope this doesn’t come out as I am boasting about myself, but Im not trying to say it that way). I could say I was pretty naïve. I was pretty ignorant. I was pretty selfish. I was mad. I was irritated… and many many more things.

The church congregation at MWMC wasn’t so large, it was about 179 people and many of them saw me grow up. I had grown up going to Sunday School, going to Kids Klub on Wednesdays, and acting in Christmas plays, then eventually I became a Sunday School teacher and when I stopped teaching I became a part of the youth group and sat at the back with all the others and was now asked to read bible verses to open up the sermon on the pulpit and I then was playing guitar with the youth band and then I realized I liked poetry so I began to write Spoken Word poetry and I was getting use to being up on stage – poetically speaking to the world about Jesus Christ and how committed we really need to be! In all this time, I was nervous, scared and freaking out that I would go on that stage because I didn’t want to do that. Some people are so hungry for that spotlight, and I became one of them after I moved churches.. Sadly. 

When I moved churches, it wasn’t because I wanted to to be honest. In that moment – I felt like I was just floating on the water and led there – to this church where they cast out demons, heal the sick.. where miracles, signs, and wonders manifest. This was SO NEW to me. Prior to even going to this church, I thought healing and the stuff happening in this century was not from God but it was witchcraft. Yes, that is probably the worst thing I ever said but it happened x_x. It’s cause I was ignorant about it, watched a youtube video and got misinformed. So now I am careful what I see and read because of that experience >_>.

The new church [ERF] building is rather large in building size, amount of people, the youth group, the adults. They have so many activities, everything costs money though and I don’t have money flying out of my pocket. Yes, they do preach about God prospering you but I’m still not use to hearing that you know? They have people who are gifted as apostles, prophets, deacons, elders, pastors, teachers… oh my gosh the list goes on. Honestly, for a while I felt if I wasn’t called to be a prophet or an apostle I was insignificant in this body of Christ. Which offends me to be honest because I learned from the Bible that we are all ONE and that we all are different body parts but the Ear is not Greater than the Eyes, we NEED one another to work. So yeah, when people are told if your not this “title” or this “title” than you have no awesome plan for your life. Not sure why that so sad to me, but I guess I always thought God had big plans for all of us…

This new church has a “vision” which is {To Bring God’s Kingdom Among the Nations} and a plan which is to take {new believers class I then new believers class II then HOP (house of peace) class then Mentors class then discipleship class.} These classes are to equip leaders with knowledge. Personally, I believe we have everything we need in God’s word and the Holy Spirit is our Teacher cause that’s what it says in the Bible, still did learn a lot from these classes.

In the youth they assign people Mentors (it happened to me and I didn’t know what it was I just got one…) and then I became a mentor as well.

I just want to say that I have had such a bad experience with TITLES. It’s NONSENSE. It becomes so much as an authoritative stance that it belittles you and others. That’s so weird for me because I came from a church that had a leader that didn’t make me feel small but rather encouraged me with kindness and meekness. In this new place I’ve encountered things I didn’t think churches had in them, I had struggled SO MUCH not to judge and for many times I was so upset at what I saw and heard and the attitudes of people. I realized that I had to be the one to change, to be less judgemental and more patient! I do admit, many times I am wrong and as much as I can think someone else has issues – I have issues to so ya… I’m no one to judge. Seriously.

The good about a title is that you can go to someone who is wise in these certain areas and you know who they are because of their title, but the bad is that some become high headed and it sucks to see and to experience. At the same time, I had such pride myself and an ego I thought the moment I came to this new church id be able to go on stage and share my gifts with people but No. I was told “Not just anyone goes up speaking” and that we had to prove ourselves to them. THAT MADE ME SOOOO SAD and Miserable because I could not please them. I have to start from the bottom and work my way up as if I was getting a job… they want to see your fruit and make sure it’s good. I felt like I was a bad person cause I couldn’t be up there, just so much nonsense. Litterally had such a battle in my mind.

Throughout this time, I had realized that my focus had sadly shifted from

+ pleasing God, to pleasing man. (although prior to that I was pleasing myself at MWMC – relationship wise I had been with the wrong guys and I needed to be delivered. For real)

I didn’t know my identity
I didn’t even know I could be a Queen in God’s eyes.
I didn’t know that God would love me as a Father.
I didn’t know how much God loved me
I didn’t know that God’s love is correction and wisdom
I didn’t know about Spiritual Warfare
I didn’t know that Holy Spirit could use me TODAY
I didn’t know I could hear God’s voice
I didn’t know I had a prophetic gift (word of knowledge)
I didn’t know God wasn’t mad at me
I didn’t know Holy Spirit could use me to speak sickness out of people
I didn’t know that until I saw people do that.
And I saw and learned that people can do that today, at this Pentecostal church….

The leaders allow themselves to be used by God, and make many sacrifices like giving up food, or surrendering this girl or guy that is a temptation but God didn’t say yes so they give up their want to obey God’s will, they give up their time to be at the building where we meet, they let God use their mouths and minds and bodies to speak breakthrough and life into people with the Help of the Holy Spirit cause He does it – he just uses them as vessels.

In the end, the only issue is to make someone be less than you when they are not is awful. Maybe that is my personal pride but even I know that we shouldn’t allow anyone to step on us. To make you think you don’t belong, to make you feel so small, unwise and stupid. To make you feel like your not good enough, you know? That is the only thing about “positions” and “titles” I don’t like.

To not be affected by that, takes knowing ones identity in Christ and accepting His approval of you even if Man isn’t approving. You said YES to Jesus. You believe in God’s Son. You have the same rights and privileges they do in the Kingdom – and that is to love and be loved by God. To bless others and encourage them. To build up and not tear down – unless the Lord uses you like Elijah to expose you than that’s different (I know God does that cause that happened to me… O.O) Humans always got something to say, yes I sure do… but all that matter in the end is was God says and what He says through His word.

I write this from experience because I’ve been hurt from these “titles” been used wrongly and authoritatively but I give thanks to God cause he makes all things New – meaning Me. He made Me New. Because He has taught me that the only title I have is daughter of God, friend, warrior bride, queen. 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on ““Titles” in the church, or body of Christ // continued

  1. josephbelovedinhiseyes says:

    “Honestly, for a while I felt if I wasn’t called to be a prophet or an apostle I was insignificant in this body of Christ. Which offends me to be honest because I learned from the Bible that we are all ONE and that we all are different body parts but the Ear is not Greater than the Eyes, we NEED one another to work.”

    This part leapt out to me because I had God correct me BIG TIME recently on being/feeling insignificant. He told me it was a lie from the evil ones! God wanted me to know I was beloved and significant to Him. It’s a long story, but just wanted you to know so you/others can be encouraged too!

    Thank you for sharing – it must feel very liberating to be freed from man-made titles, not being able to care about where we “stand” among man and yet just to humbly serve our Creator! And of course to enjoy serving Him =) It’s amazing how God keeps on showing us things just as He showed you about this. He’s the best teacher!

    This bible verse came across my mind =)
    Matthew 23:8-11 (ESV)
    8 But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. 9 And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. 10 Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. 11 The greatest among you shall be your servant.

    • unitedwiththeone says:

      Wooooooooowwwwwwwwwww!!!! That last verse though! Boom! That hit the nail on target! Wow! I’m so glad others understand what I’m sayin’ cause its hard when others don’t understand but praise the Lord

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s